Although I certainly enjoyed my run of Pokemon
Black and didn't have to force myself to pick up my DS and play it, this
game has earned the dubious honour of being my least favourite Pokemon entry
so far. This is due to a myriad of tiny reasons that would have hardly been
noticeable on their own yet lead to a great deal of annoyance when put
together. Without further ado, here are the joy-killers that tainted my overall
view of Pokemon Black:
—Unova is a rather unpleasant region that comes across as significantly less
welcoming, bucolic and heart-warming than regions from other Pokemon entries.
Unlike the Northern France inspiration at work in the X/Y pair, the New York
state inspiration behind Unova didn't lead to an incredibly charming result
full of Western exotism. For some reason that I cannot pinpoint, the whole area
feels cold, barren and oozes a vague aura of menace—an overall impression that
was reinforced by the fact that my run unfolded in the greyish and washed-out
colour palette of the in-game winter. The North-American mystique is curiously
absent from Unova: apart from the swarms of office workers in Castelia City's
streets and the patrolling of rangers, there is little that evokes the USA.
Where are the diners and fast-food joints? There were tons of cafés in
Kalos, so certainly Unova could have sported a couple of these iconic American
places, right? And why are people sitting on cushions in front of low tables at
home just like in Japan? That makes absolutely no sense. To add insult to
injury, the towns are quite bland, with a lack of charm that sometimes verges
on sheer ugliness, and the vistas seriously lack variety. And however thought
that those unbearably long bridges were an interesting feature deserves a
serious spanking.
—The random encounter rate is ridiculously high—like, who-the-heck-put-some-Dragon-Quest-in-my-Pokemon-high.
This is the first Pokemon entry ever in which I used Repels on a regular
basis whilst cruising caves, and I didn't fancy it one bit. Good thing Game
Freak came to their senses and implemented a more reasonable rate in X/Y.
—The menu is confusing, with not enough categories of items and an interface
that's a trifle too figurative to be truly efficient. Also, the default speed
of the menu scrolling is ridiculously fast, to the point of becoming a genuine
hindrance: I cannot count the number of times I selected the wrong item just
because of this overzealous scrolling.
—Unova's fauna looks seriously bizarre. Now, I never
wanted to partake in the raging debate about the decline of Pokemon design and
thus never uttered a single negative comment regarding the looks of 'Mons in my
posts; but in the case of Black, I simply cannot help it. An uncanny
number of 'Mons in Unova sport a really weird appearance, and things only get
worse by the evolution. Many 'Mons become positively grotesque and repulsive in
their final form—dare I say monstrous?—and look more like the work of a
local Victor Frankenstein than like healthy animals at the peak of their
evolution. Sigilyph and Cofagrigus? Ridiculous. Simisage, Simisear and
Simipour? Pathetic. Jellycent, Vanilluxe, Druddigon and Hydreigon? My eyes are
bleeding. And... Garbodor and Musharna? Excuse me, I have to vomit. More
seriously, many 'Mons in Black put me ill as ease, made me cringe or
vaguely grossed me out—so much so that I wouldn't be surprised if the backstory
of Unova included a nuclear disaster or a bad case of water poisoning. Was Game
Freak trying to convey some message about the USA by stuffing Unova with so
many freaky 'Mons?
—The game's insistence on wifi-based social features is seriously annoying. I
don't fancy one bit the fact that the menu was ousted from the touch screen to
be replaced by this useless C-Gear app, and being asked whether or not I want
to launch the thing before every single plays sessions only added fuel to the
fire of my irritation.
—Having to fight the Elite Four twice. Are you kidding, game?
—Bianca and Cheren are an absolute pain in the behind. They are as
genuinely unlikeable as one another, Bianca being the archetype of the dumb
clumsy blonde and Cheren the archetype of the obnoxious straight-A student. I
hated them from the very moment I laid my eyes on them—which unfortunately
happened to be the game's opening scene—and every single one of their
interventions made me roll my eyes and grind my teeth. I criticized the
transparent rival and bunch of useless sticky kids in X, but Bianca and
Cheren are a million times more unbearable. Give me over-excited Barry back,
please!
Well, that's enough ranting for today. I think I gave Black a vigorous
grilling already, so I'll spare you the minute details such as the lack of
HM-restricted areas, the extreme pixelisation of 'Mons during fights or the
fact that my trainer is sticking out his tush like he's twerking every time he
throws a Pokeball. But fear not: there is no Pokemon disaffection on the
horizon. I liked Black despite its flaws, and I will certainly pick up Pokemon
White sooner or later, as well as White 2 and Black 2. Thanks
for reading, and be my guest anytime!
Interesting.
Since you started Pokémon with Diamond, you have a skewered view towards that
generation. Personally, I'd rank Black/White and Black/White 2 (more so 2) as
the best Pokémon games, followed by Gen 2 (Gold/Silver/Crystal and the
HeartGold and SoulSilver remakes). Specially because they're the only ones that
actually posed some decent challenge.
I agree on the Pokémon being really hit-or-miss, though. There are some really
crappy designs in this generation, but there's still some really nice ones. And
some just take some time to warm up to. For instance, I remember completely
hating the Klink evolution line before playing but by the time I finished
Black, it actually had grown on me. Although, Steel types being my favorite probably helped.
"Since you
started Pokémon with Diamond, you have a skewered view towards that
generation": I totally agree. I unconsciously tend to compare all DS
Pokemon entries to Diamond, and entries from other consoles as well—albeit not
to the same degree. Diamond may not be the best Pokemon entry ever released,
but because I played it first, it somehow became my criterion. Which doesn't
mean that Diamond is actually my favourite Pokemon entry: I loved Aqua Sapphire
considerably more, for instance.
When it comes to Pokemon design, I definitely prefer 'Mons that look like
real-life animals, and such 'Mons were pretty uncommon in Unova, hence my
dissatisfaction. But I'm aware that it's a pet peeve, since most players favour
'Mons that do not look too much like real-life fauna!
Pearl/Diamond
and Platinum have an undeniable comfy and peaceful setting and was the
generation that presented more gameplay tweaks. Outside of that, everything is
debatable but I still greatly enjoyed the 4th generation despite the majority
of the Pokémon fanbase ranking it as the worst - even lower than the first gen.
It's all a matter of preferences! I love abstract or "material"
inspired Pokémons but I also love animal based ones as long as they have a nice
design.
I'm sorry for the occasional double posts, Isleif! Chrome likes to play pranks sometimes. >_<
Don't worry
about the double posts, that can easily be fixed! It's not like it's spam,
anyway. ^___^
I think Unova would have looked more comfy and peaceful if my run had unfolded
during another in-game season. In fact, I'm pondering a playthrough of White
right now... Such a playthrough would allow me to enjoy the in-game spring and
wrap up that unfinished business with the Elite Four!
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